Chiune Sugihara

It’s easy to disassociate myself from others’ pain. My mind can only engage in so much content. I’ve stopped following politics and current events to introspect about my feelings, develop self-awareness, learn to bake, etc. But this article touched me profoundly. The author David Wolpe captures Sugihara’s ability to ignore rules set around him and to do what he thinks is right and is in his power.

Which makes me question, what is in my power? I traditionally focused on my personal interactions. Be kind, compassionate, and patient. Be a good person. While I struggle with with this already– I am not kind to people I feel who have wronged me– Sugihara’s story reminds me of the fortitude of the human heart.

I do not need you

I do not need you
I am strong
There is nothing I cannot break through
Please, move along

I must finish my course
I am busy
this defines my worth
I’m no sissy

But how you melt my resolve
Slowly warming my empty heart
Maybe you can help me evolve
To push you away would not be smart

I still do not need you
But do stay
You keep me authentic, like your mead home brew
I’m learning your way

Maybe we are good together
Maybe we can work
Maybe we can learn the tricks and be stronger with each other
Maybe I like all your quicks

Maybe I might need you

Dreamcatcher

Looking back the past thirty years,
I cannot help but feel regret;
At all the time that passed– and tears,
But here I am with just my fears.

I want to be fit and pretty,
Rising above petty squabbles,
With doctorates from MIT.
My mind expansive and free.

What inspiries my fantasy?
Me, you, or how I want to fit in the hiearchy?
I think too much, I will just be.
And focus on catching my dreams.

 

I am in a healthy committed relationship now

It is odd.

I think for the first time in my life, there is someone who really cares about me, tries hard to please me, and does so in a positive way; I am not constantly being criticized. He is not passive aggressive. He makes me breakfast, lunch, and dinner often. Best part, he is s

In fact, I’m the one bringing in negative energy most of the time.

Sometimes my insecurities the best of me. But I don’t realize it immediately. I just feel blinding flares of hurt, irritation, and jealousy. But because of his patience, I  think I am slowly learning to become a better person